Making an Online Profile

How, oh, how to create a winning profile... Let's start with the do's and don'ts for the aspiring and/or ambitious online dater.

PICTURES
First of all, men are visual creatures, so their first judgement on your level of interest will come from a quick once over, much as in real life. Shallow? Well, yes, but also a fact of life. You can protest it all you want, but it won't - ultimately - do you much good. If the person who reads your profile is not impressed by the pictures, odds are he won't stick around to read your profile-text. If you have a low opinion of your own looks, just keep in mind that people have wildly different tastes and that you will fit some of those tastes. If you have a wonderful personality - great for you, and it will come to much use for ultimate staying power and actually reeling somebody in for the long term. However, in the beginning, without a presentable exterior you will be screwed. Or not, as the case may be. Now firmly into the 21st century, there is no excuse for not having digital images of yourself. Failing a decent digital camera, webcams are cheap and if handled properly can be good enough in case of emergency. The properly part is important though, fuzzy pictures made by the light of a candle will make anyone look like Frankenstein. Get a second opinion, if possible.
Look like you
The trick is to present yourself positively, without straying too far from what you actually look like at this moment. Pictures from ten years ago when you were much cuter are only allowed if they come with a time machine. And if, by the use of various kinds of direct and indirect lighting you can make yourself look like a sexgod, it is still going to disappoint when, without all this trickery, in real life you look like Mr Joe Average from Blandsville. A couple of clear shots that show different sides of you - literally and figuratively - will be the most effective. Include at least one picture that shows pretty much all of you, clothing optional. Parts not seen (face, chest, stomach) might be assumed to have hidden (perceived) flaws.
Avoid pictures apparently taken with a satellite, featuring you as a dot in the distance, or pictures that obscure the face with glasses, hats, bandana's, boas and/or other accessoires. Coy equals irritating. Also annoying are the 'not me but what I like' pictures in profiles. Trust me: nobody cares. And if there IS actually a picture of you on the profile too - think about how you will look by comparison next to Mr. Dream Guy.
Clothing optional
Your level of nakedness will determine how seriously people will take you. If you are looking for just friends or a serious relationship and want to screen out those cruising for sex, keep your clothes on. Should you feel frisky on some nights and want something more 'now' and less 'forever', you could always keep a shirtless-or-even-more-naked picture ready to send to your suitors.
If you are just looking for sex and have a particulary impressive chest, dick or ass, you could of course present this to the public, since it is your selling-point. However most people, even those looking for one-offs, will be wanting to see your face before committing to a real meeting. And if you won't show your face in your profile together with your naked parts - to keep your reputation somewhat intact - they'd better be impressive to grab the attention. There are plenty of faceless torso's out there on the net.
Also be aware that there are many different levels of nakedness. Having your ass spread open to the viewer will be a big turn-off to a lot of people. Possibly even to some hot tops who would have happily shagged you if you'd kept it a little bit more classy. On the other hand - so to speak - if you are looking for a sleazy top from the fisting-crowd, classy might be a turn-off. Consider your audience: who do you want to attract, and what would they find attractive?
Anonymous
If you are not willing to show your face online or don't have any pictures at all, don't expect much patience and understanding from those who have laid it all out there. Any kind of extra effort in exchanging pictures will have to be yours. Some people don't like dabbling with msn or yahoo or such messengers, especially when someone hasn't been 'seen' yet. And it can be more hurtful if someone - once on msn or the like - takes one quick look at you and comes out with a polite - if you're lucky - version of 'Ah, no way in hell. Bye.'

TEXT
In your profile text, be clear, to the point and focus on what you want, rather than on what you don't want. Nobody will be running a spell-check on your profile - we can only hope - but full sentences will gain you perceived intelligence points. Poems in your profile and endless incoherent rambles in punctuation-less chat-speak will make you come off as a goofball. Unless you happen to actually be a funny goofball, this is generally not considered a plus.
The more specific you are about what you are looking for, the more people you might 'lose', but you will also have to sift through less non-matching responses. But be succint, since most visitors to your profile will bail if there is too much text, or at least not read it properly before sending you a line. It is okay to ignore these kind of responses, but also okay to forgive the responder for not reading properly and to give him a chance, especially if he is extremely hot.
If you do not have any text in your profile at all people will assume that you are either a fake, a flake or just a voyeur.
Be pc
Try to be somewhat politically correct. If you stated that you like big hairy men, you do not need to explicitly state that you are generally not attracted to Asian men. And this way, who knows, you could run into the big, hairy Asian man of your dreams. Just because certain types of men aren't to your taste, that doesn't mean you have to be a bitch about it. Stating that you like masculine men comes across a lot more friendly than 'no sissies'. And saying you like in-shape guys is a lot friendlier than saying 'no fatties'. In short, even if you are an amazingly handsome guy with a great body and a huge dick, remember that big dicks are only fun when they don't come attached to a big asshole. Well... most of the time. And being rude does not equal being masculine, girls!

STATS, HOBBIES etc
And here's the part where people really start lying their little asses off...
THAT size
It's interesting to note right off the bat that far more than 50% of the gay guys online have a Large dick. Since Medium means middle, and statistically speaking 50% of men should be around Medium size, this is a puzzling phenomenon. Also note that there are virtually no Small dicks to speak off. So in interpreting a profile, be aware that guys who have XXL, XL and L in their profile might have to be taken down one notch, possibly two. When you see M in a profile, it might be an S in diguise, or just someone who has a realistic image of himself in that area. So, what to fill in, eh? Well, as with all of internet dating, it's best to go with the truth. If you feel you are in a grey area between sizes, it is okay to flatter yourself a little. But this is one area where you definitely do not want a look of disappointment when the pants go down. Instant mood-kill.
Of course, you can also fill in nothing. This tends to be interpreted as a flaw being hidden, but somebody who doesn't fill in his 'size' doesn't necessarily have a small dick, he might just think it none of your business. In some confirmed cases, guys with XXL dicks consciously leave this titbit out because they do NOT want their main selling point to be that they have a huge dick. Mull that over, size queens!
If someone is going to reject you over something that is totally out of your control, you might as well get rid of him at the door, a.k.a. your profile. For comparison, statistical averages can be found online.
Length
It can be hard to tell someone's overall size without a frame of reference and it's not easy to see it from someone's pictures. I think there tends to be less lying in this area because in this case not many people will care about an inch more or less, and big lies are very easily disproved even before the bed comes into view. Just be honest, since once again there is nothing much you can change about it. Those interested in your profile should accept it as-is or move on to pastures taller or shorter, depending on their taste.
Age
There is a lot of lying about this, sometimes to avoid the chop of a search engine, but most often because of the vanity and insecurity of the people who are lying. If, as an older gentleman, someone who visits your profile fancies you because of the text or pictures, then an extra year or two won't make a difference to him, so no point in fibbing. It will, however, look a bit sad when/if he finds out about your little grey lie. Subtracting more than a year or two will increase chances of being 'caught' and increase chances of you being pitied. A secure older man can be hot, an insecure older man who wants to be a boy can not. And filling in random numbers to protest against agism, accompanied by a diatribe in your profile text, is not going to win you any respect. Just accept and own the age you're at.
The shape you're in
Don't oversell yourself in this area, since your build tends to be bloody obvious from the photos in the profile. If you claim you are 'muscled' while your pictures show you to be 'stocky' or 'heavy', you will come off deluded and will be fooling exactly no-one. And a 'normal' body looks different to an 'athletic' one, at least to people who work out. This is one aspect you have at least some influence on, so if you feel embarrassed about what you have to fill in here, don't tell a bold-faced lie, but work on yourself.
Relationship status
Once again being honest about this would save everybody a lot of hassle. It sucks to be looking for a relationship, to have a great dinner with a great guy and to be told afterwards: oh, by the way, I actually have a boyfriend.
If you have an open relationship, make clear that it is indeed all out in the open, because some people might feel bad about being party to cheating ('cheating' meaning not playing by the rules as set in the relationship) and skip your profile.
To clear up any confusion about being just out of a relationship or single but not looking or looking but not single or an all-out sex-addict or what-have-you, you should specify your mindset in the text of your profile.
Hobbies, interests, beliefs
If you are looking just for sex, you might not care what you write down here. But if you're looking for anything more, from a friend to a boyfriend or even a fuckbuddy, it will be a good way to see if you have anything in common with your prospective visitor, something that will make you bond for longer than a round or two of hide-the-salami. It will also give someone who is interested in your profile a good way to contact you and give him something to start a conversation.
Your role/position
In the gay scene, being top (masculine) carries more status than being bottom (supposedly un-masculine). So in filling out their 'position', men tend to err on the side of top-ness. Meaning that a 'top' might well be a bit 'versatile', a 'versatile/top' is probably a lot versatile, a 'versatile' more bottom and a 'bottom' is likely to be a BOTTOM. But ultimately a lot of people 'go-with-the-flow' anyway when the going gets sexy.
Fetishes/ kinks
In sharing your kinkiness with the world, please note that, the more unusual your particular kink, the less likely your reader is to share it. You might be willing to go 'vanilla' for them, but they might be turned off by you being a bit kinky in that way. More kinks means less people interested but more chance of meeting similar perverts.
Safe sex
Not all sites offer the option to give your preference for this, but they should. Perhaps they fear that it makes it easier for barebackers to find eachother this way, but at least it singles them out for those who want to avoid that sort of thing.
First of all though, be aware that most people who 'slip up now and then' will still be filling in 'always' here. And opinions differ on what is safe sex. Some people let guys cum in their mouths and/or swallow under the impression that this is safe. (Which it is not, going by current knowledge.) And some guys in relationships have bare sex with their boyfriend but safe with others, and still only semi-correctly claim they 'always' have safe sex. 'Always' does not mean you should not be watching your ass.
As for those for whom safe sex 'needs discussion' or who 'never' have safe sex, keep in mind that not only are they more likely to have a STD, but they are apparently also not fans of/regularly experienced with condoms. So if you are STD-free, you will need to make sure they respect you and your health. If you have HIV and figure 'what the hell', remember that mixing different variants and getting an extra dose of the virus might still not exactly be what the doctor ordered and might make you resistant to treatments.
Health status
Not many sites ask you to give your 'status', but some do, meaning - specifically - HIV. For understandable fear of rejection, a lot of poz men will not want to be open about their status. As someone who is neg, it can be scary going into a sex situation knowing beforehand that someone is poz. But if you get to know them well enough to be sure that they take medication and have a low virus count - consider that they are less likely to have an infectuous level of HIV than a random guy from online with unknown status. No matter what status someone has: be safe.