Ironic Valentine's Day Poem

Breaking up is fun to do
Not always - but it is with you!

Once upon a little while
In a state they call Denial
Lived together you and me
Happily pretending we
Were fitting like a hand and glove
Well, I've got news for you, my love
We fit like eyes and cataract
We fit like Howard Stern and tact
You're messy, smelly, dumb and weak
How could I ever love you, freak!?
You call me names, you cheat and lie
Why don't you just fuck off and DIE!

I tried só hard to tolerate
The things about you that I hate
Because you looked so gosh-darn cute
But now my hormones have gone mute
And I see you as others do
Go pack your things, because we're through!
You're out of time
You're out of luck
So BITE ME!
For you truly SUCK!
...
But could you call me friday night?
'Cause in the sack we are só right!...