Movie Review: Friends & Family

Rarely do I find gay-themed movies in second-hand dvd stores. I think we people of the pink treasure our gay flicks even if they are flawed and we don't really feel the need to see them again. Ever. So I should have been forewarned when I found Friends & Family for the price of less than a cup of coffee. It is a deeply weird movie in that some parts that work pretty well are joined with a few parts that don't work in any way, shape or form. As the good parts aren't good enough to make up for the seriously bad ones, the whole production ends up going under.
Stephen and Danny are heavies for an Italian mob boss and are a gay couple. Their parents know about the latter and are dandy with it, but are oblivious about the former. Therefore, when all four of the parents come into town, many shenanigans ensue to cover up the shady profession. Though, because the couple is supposed to be our main interest and therefore sympathetic, we aren't really shown them doing anything all that shady. But everybody is deeply afraid of them because they have a reputation and as heavies for a mob boss I doubt it would be based on how they press wild flowers. They must have done some really bad and violent things in service for the mob - and these are the good guys...
What we also don't get to see is any physical activity going on between them. Because that would be - you know - gross, to the general audience that this movie seems to be aiming for. At the grand finale, the couple realises they took this job as tough, bad-ass mobsters to overcompensate for being gay. But it's not just the couple suffering from internalised homophobia; this whole movie has one foot in the closet. To kick up the gay-level in a sexless way, two flamers are presented as the best friends of our leads. How this group met and bonded is a scenario I can't quite fathom, but at least they are more interesting than the GQ duo. The 'leads' also have their thunder stolen by most of the slightly caricatured cast and their subplots. In the end, it feels like the headliners were the supporting cast in their own movie.
On the plus side, the production values are good, some jokes land and the actors - for the most part - manage to win you over. But then there is that one subplot that torpedoes the movie, sinks it, dives down for the remaining pieces and stomps on them.
One of the two pairs of parents are anti-government survivalists and plan to overthrow the people in charge now that they are visiting the big city by... well I didn't quite grasp the grander scheme, assuming there was one, but it ends in a hostage situation. The survivalist scenes leading up to this break tone completely with the rest of the movie and are entirely, cringe-inducingly unfunny. The actors and their characters are way over the top and the footage seems shot by amateurs without a script. They serve to force the movie to come to a climax, but a better solution could easily have been found to bring that about, using the other characters. The movie makes you feel like a good cook and a bad cook came together and only managed to come up with a half-way edible soufflé. It looks pretty, but falls flat.

Movie Review: But I'm a Cheerleader

This movie sets up a situation with amazing potential for silliness, ramps up and then backs away as if startled by the monster it has created. The story goes thusly: an unsuspecting cheerleader is sent off to a rehab camp after an intervention in which she is told by parents and friends that she is a lesbian. That comes as a bit of a shock to her, as she thought all girls were mesmerised by bouncing breasts.
The boys and gals in the camp are sleeping in reassuringly color coded bedrooms (blue for boys, pink for ladies) and are trained to act in accordance with their gender. It should come as no surprise that the treatment is not only un-effective, but that romances start to develop, most notably between the cheerleader and a surly girl from rich parents who are threatening to disown her. Much theoretical tension ensues from the question whether or not the girls will end up together. No really, take a guess!
There are some nicely bizarre elements to the movie, most notably the colourful set design and outfits. The head of the house makes for a good, despicable villainess, who turns a blind eye to the fact that her own boy is a big flamer. And speaking of those: RuPaul - out of drag, as the trainer for the boys - makes a remarkably manly guy. The kids at the camp are amusing stereotypes that - apart from the romantic leads - struggle to be more than one-dimensional. For a movie with so many underdeveloped characters that could have used more scenes, it oddly struggles to fill its running time. It is also strange that the villains of the piece are not really dealt with at the end. There are a couple of scenes you expect are coming up by way of pay-off, but the movie can't be bothered, only interested by then in getting the main couple together. A bit more depth and sharper dialogue could have made this a movie worth re-watching. As it stands, once will be enough.

Movie Review: Head On

Over the last decade, there have been less depressing gay movies. Well, there are plenty that depress because they are bad, but not many that have the guts to be negative about the gay experience. In the olden days, as exposed in the great documentary The Celluloid Closet, gay people in movies were pathetic, ridiculous and asexual or evil. Since then they generally have been accepting of themselves, though often victimised by their surroundings. If they were in mainstream movies though, they often still got killed.
Ari is something else in Head On. He is a Greek guy in Australia who struggles with his heritage, in combination with his sexuality. He hates his orthodox father, partly because he is at an age when a lot of men do and also because he knows his father would disown him if he ever found out his son was gay. He is caught in a typically Greek close-knit family that is anything but homo-friendly and knows he will lose everything if he comes out. He has one flamboyantly gay nephew that is spat upon by the rest of the family - including his own father - that is his link with his gay side.
Now if you are expecting a cheerful morality tale with a happy ending you will be disappointed. Ari does not handle his internal conflict well: he goes on a self-destructive bender. He is rude to people who reach out to help him, does too many drugs and has unsafe sex with strangers. We follow him a whole night and by the end of it, there is a certain feeling of resolution, though there isn't the sense that he is beyond hope. It's a moody, dark and depressing ride, but it feels raw and real, which is a nice change from the upbeat fluff that a lot of gay-themed movies offer.
On a shallow note: Alex Dimitriades looks as hot in shadows and neon as he does in daylight and carries the movie easily, making us root for Ari even as he is being an asshole. That he appears full frontal is simply a bonus.

Movie Review: The Mostly Unfabulous Social Life of Nathan Green

Note to all involved: guys + dresses + big colourful hats does not necessarily equal funny. There has to be flair and funny dialogue involved. The two 'drag queens' in question are Ethan Green's adoptive fathers, for all practical purposes. Ethan - our everyman, fallible hero - is desperately looking for love and then runs away screaming when he is at risk of finding it. He is still friends with an ex he dumped or was dumped by (the movie is not completely clear on this). Ethan still has feelings for him, which start to stir as his ex becomes involved with an obnoxious right-winger. In the meantime Ethan gets involved with a beefcake sportsman and a teenage skank. Will he find love? Well, take a wild guess.
This movie is a frustrating mix of good and bad. Ethan 's couple of gay 'uncles' stick out like sore thumbs. They are two middle-aged masculine looking men in girly, ill-fitting clothes, which the writer seem to think is funny in and of itself. Another bad call was casting Dean Shelton as a kid that everyone in the movie seems to think is really hot. Not that he is bad-looking but he really does not live up to the billing of hottest-guy-in-the-movie. He doesn't even make the top three. (The same thing bugged me all throughout both Queer As Folk versions with the Brian Kinney character.)
The 'selling real estate' angle that supports most of the plot is not exactly the height of suspense the writers intended it to be. In general, the somewhat surreal and slapsticky brand of comedy used here, distances the viewer from the movie, even though some of the jokes work. It seems to expect us to empathise with Ethan, but comedically pulls the rug out from under us too often for that to really happen. What also bugged me - pun sadly intended - was a sex scene shot for laughs, where it seemed barebacking must be going on, though the 'snap' of a condom off-screen would only have added to the humour. Easiest entry in the history of anal sex by the way (even beating the one in Brokeback Mountain).
Meredith Baxter (the mom from Family Ties) is funny as one of those 'too cool to be real' moms only seen in gay movies. She organises gay and lesbian 'weddings' and is of course drafted to organise the one for Ethan's ex. She does the best with what she is given, but it seems more could have been made of her. And then there is Ethan himself: actor Daniel Letterle. Cute as a button and he is perfectly naturally gay. By which I mean, he does not overdo it for comedic effect or play it straight to disprove a stereotype. He seems at ease as Ethan and it is surprising that, according to the IMDB, he has apparently dropped off the face of the earth since he made this movie. He is very easy on the eyes and has charm to spare. I would love to see him as a regular gay character on a mainstream series. Diego Serrano as the jock also makes an impact, and looks very, very good without a shirt. In general there is a sense of everyone having a fun time and the goodwill that creates, makes up for some of the jokes falling embarrassingly flat.
This movie is symptomatic of most gay comedies: uneven, some hints of amateurism but well-intentioned and entertaining enough for an evening's cuddle on the couch with your lover. But don't expect it to be the last thing you talk about on your deathbed.

Book & Podcast Review: Savage Love

Over the last week I have been marathon-listening to the Savage Love podcast. Dan Savage is a sex and relationship advice columnist for the Seattle weekly newspaper The Stranger. I had previously come across Mr. Savage in the form of his books, through my work at the bookstore. In Skipping towards Gomorrah, he indulges himself in the Seven capital Sins on a quest for happiness. There is The Kid, about the adoption process he and his boyfriend went through to add a little bundle of joy to their existence. And The Commitment: Love, Sex, Marriage, and My Family is a memoir incorporating thoughts about gay marriage. The first two linger on my bookshelf, unread so far because I just haven't gotten around to them. (Try working at a bookstore for a couple of years and see if you don't start building up a serious backlog of reading material.)
A book also came out collecting entries from his advice column, titled - predictably - Savage Love. This one I have gone through cover to cover by now, and it is a fast and funny read. It's great for reading on the fly since the piecemeal structure means you can easily dip into it for a page or two in-between whatever you are doing. (STD's don't combine well with cooking though.) Through Mr. Savage's book and this podcast, I now know more about vaginas and the female orgasm than I ever needed to.
Mr. Savage has a bit of a pottymouth on him, which works just fine for his line of work. It signals to his audience that no question will be too rude to be taken seriously, anything goes. In some cases, the questions make you shake your head at the lack of knowledge that USA youngsters have about sex. There is real damage being done here by consciously keeping people uninformed, often under the guise of religion, but really because previous generations had it drilled into them that sex is BAD and feel they have to make others suffer for that as well.
Dan's mantra is pretty much that sex and sexual experimentation are GOOD, unless it harms you or others. It's about getting maximum pleasure out of it all, while keeping your head on straight. For instance, a gay guy who wants to visit an orgy is strongly advised not to: it carries too much risk of disease. Questions about things like *gag reflex* eating shit are handled with equal practicality (so that would be a 'not a good idea', though - rejoice - pee is safe).
Thankfully, he is also not playing along with the assumption of some gays, that gays are intrinsically good and straight people are pretty much evil. There are assholes on both sides of the fence, and Savage even counts himself as one of those assholes. On one of the podcasts he rightfully, verbally bitch-slaps an effeminate gay boy who thinks that all women are disgusting and wants nothing to do with them. He even goes a bit pussy on him (to use his terminology) by not pointing out that the boy's hatred of women probably ties in to the fact that he is a bit of a flamer, struggling with his feminine side.
The questions never get boring, helped by the voyeuristic aspect to them. Often the answers are close to what your own response would be at first thought, but with a twist and more facts behind them. Though the word SEX is on the cover of just about every magazine every month, they are pussies about the graphic and technical aspects of it. Savage deals with these with refreshing bluntness and humour. I encourage everyone to read his column and to listen to the podcast. But beware: this asshole is not for pussies.

Book review: Michael Tolliver Lives!

Working at a bookstore isn't always very exciting and the pay is crap, as with most retail. There are the occasional perks that come with the job though; like possibly coming across the Advance Reader's copy of a book by one of your favourite authors, months before it will be available to the general public. While I knew that a book was in the works, I was slightly stunned and overly excited when Armistead Maupin's Michael Tolliver Lives, was dropped in my path by a literary fairy - and considering my colleagues, that is not just a figure of speech. The book is a semi-sequel to his well-known Tales of the City series.
I had mainlined all of Maupin's Tales during one trimester while I was a student. They chronicle the unlikely and endearing adventures of an 'alternative' group of friends that form a sort of family during the seventies in San Francisco, at 28 Barbary Lane. The story started off as a serial for a newspaper, which explains the short chapters, regular cliffhangers and fast pace. The feel for dialogue was amazing, the easy writing style sped you along breathlessly. In later books, the style evolved into a more regular 'novel' approach, though the events were still charmingly farfetched.
The odd part of my reading experience was that I saw one episode of the television series beforehand - the one based on the first book - and carried the cast over to the literary mindscape. For me, the lovable landlady with a secret - Anna Madrigal - was and always will be Olympia Dukakis. The actors became fused in my mind with the characters. Therefore I could only accept it with some resentment when some of the parts were recast for later series... which neatly brings me to Michael Tolliver. In the previous books, he was a major point of identification for any gay man, sixties-born or not, looking for love in all the wrong places. I wanted to be him and date him at the same time. Which possibly means I was a bit messed up.
When we last left him, about twenty years ago, Michael was HIV+ and things did not look good. Many readers assumed he wasn't long for this world after fade out. However, when I stated this concern on a message board at the Barbary Lane website, I was rapped on the knuckles for this by the webmaster. I had assumed that Michael was a bit too far in the past to survive long enough to benefit from new AIDS treatments, but as it turns out, I am now quite officially wrong. And I am happy to be so, because it means that Michael Tolliver Lives!
The character has aged as much in years as the books have, putting him in the 50+ bracket. The lover we left him with was lost and now we find him in a May-December romance, having to deal with the impending death of his birthmother, the ill health of his 'adoptive' mother and with his religious sibling. Most of the old cast is present or referenced and feels comfortingly familiar, like old friends rediscovered. But this is very much Michael's story. For the first time we find ourselves right in Michael's mind, since the book is told in first-person perspective. For lovers of the original series, this is disorienting for a moment, as - in combination with him having aged - it makes him feel like a different character. It is not a big deviation for Maupin, however, as both of his most recent books (Maybe the Moon and Night Listener) were written in I form. The tone and mood also carry over from his recent work: wry, melancholic and sweet, without being saccharine. As with Night Listener, it's hard to keep from wondering how many autobiographical elements have found their way into the story.
As for what actually happens; the book is more of a character study than a wacky rollercoaster ride of events; no cannibalistic cults to be found here. There are thoughts about family (the one we are born with and the one we choose) and other big issues: love, aging, death. If that makes it sound downbeat, well, it isn't really. As the title suggests, Michael is just very much aware and grateful that he is Alive.
The dialogue flows easily as always and you will feel sad at how fast you ripped through the book. It seems unlikely there will be more forthcoming about this little family, unless Zimmer frames are involved, but as Michael Tolliver has learned: hope springs eternal.

Pictures: the top one shows Michael Tolliver from series 1 (Marcus D'Amico, on the left), the second one shows Michael Tolliver from series 2 & 3 (Paul Hopkins). Please note that both look good without a shirt.

Armistead Maupin's official website

Podcast Review: The Feast of Fools

The Little Podcast that Could

The Feast of Fools was - I think - the second podcast I ever listened to. Let us not speak of the first, there was too much anguish and mental trauma. Oddly perhaps, I did not warm to the Fools right away. But then the same happened to me with - among others - series like Buffy and Firefly of which I later became an avid fan. After I had played the field at iTunes a bit, I gave the Fools a second listen to and was hooked.

'So tell us about this podcast phenomenon', I telepathically hear you cry. Well, at the warm heart of the Feast of Fools is a couple from Chicago. There is Fausto Fernós, an intrepid designer for a local newspaper and Marc Felion, an equally intrepid bartender. Joining them on a regular basis are:

Ronnie: a BMW (Big Mexican Woman) or as Fausto calls her: 'la bomba atomica del podcasting'.

Sal-E: a make-up artist extraordinaire, who deals with all kinds of unsanitary waxing during his day job.

Amanda Steinstein: who - appearances to the contrary - is not a trannie, but in fact a natural-born, exuberant, straight woman.

Together in various groupings, they discuss interesting news items and shoot the breeze about whatever crosses their pleasantly deranged minds. Now and then there are also interviews with artistic types you might or might not have heard of. Just occasionally, as with George Takei (Star Trek's Sulu), they are known outside of the States, but most aren't and quite a few are just celebrities in the Chicago area. It has to be said that these episodes actually tend to be less entertaining than the ones with 'just' the regular cast, unless the artist has a prominent funny bone. But they make for a nice change of pace.

So what makes this podcast stand out? Well, first of all, despite both having day jobs, the couple manages to put out about five casts per week, each around 45 minutes long. For me in any case, that means they just about cover my travel-time to work and some time at the gym. But apart from quantity, the overall quality is great too. It is ably produced on both a technical level as well as content-wise, while maintaining a pleasantly loose, freewheeling feel. The hook is that you start to feel like you are part of this zany, madcap family of friends, even if it is just as a fly on the wall. Should you feel like being a more interactive fly, there is also a website with message boards and photo-galleries.

The podcast has won several awards already and it is the most-downloaded gay podcast on iTunes. Give them a listen or two and find out why. Feast of Fools Website

ps: my second favourite podcast is the weekly Never not Funny, where two stand-up comedians and their producer yap about themselves, music, sports, comedy and television/movies. Also definitely worth your time. Never Not Funny

Movie Review: Mambo Italiano

Though this is billed as a gay romantic comedy, it is ultimately more about family than anything else. The Story: Italian guy loves Italian guy, the families find out and shit proceeds to hit the fan. It hooked me at the start, with the silly humor, the big, colorful set pieces and the big, colorful characters, but it lost me towards the end when the narrative went off the rails. The movie starts out by making us emotionally invest (though not nearly enough) in a relationship that hits the rocks. A second love interest comes into view, but he never seems more than filler to be discarded when the first big love will return.
Some may call the unexpected ending a neat twist, others might note that the movie skews our interest the wrong way. Even worse: ultimately there isn't all that much interest to begin with, as the movie splits our attention with two love-interests for our hero, but doesn't flesh either of them out enough to make us really care. It spends the most time making us care about the stereotypical-but-admittedly-funny family drama. The movie ends suddenly at 80 minutes without any kind of big emotional payoff. As with most gay comedies intended for a wider audience, it shies away from more than a quick kiss on the lips and a hug from the romantic leads. No wild, passionate fires burning here.

Four word review: Funny, short and misguided
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0330602/

Movie Review: Chicken Tikka Masala

I would love there to be more gay romantic comedies, specifically more good gay romantic comedies. Chicken Tikka Masala looked promising, going by the box. The story: an arranged marriage threatens to get in the way of the relationship between an Indian guy and his English-lad boyfriend. Me and my half-Indian boyfriend appeared to be as much the intended audience as anyone. We settled down cosily on the couch on valentine's day and the next 90 minutes seemed to last an infinity. Never did two men have só little chemistry together and they never have more than a brotherly hug on screen. The movie seems to be in the closet about its own subject matter; at some point the word 'gay' is almost used, but then the writer backs off from such a scary concept.
The clumsiness and technical incompetence is all-round: way too many close-ups, bad framing, bad lighting, perfunctory dialogue, bad music and bad editing, with some crucial scenes missing. I really, really tried to like it for the first 20 minutes or so, after that I just kept checking in with the clock to see how close we were to the promised total running time. The ending concerns an unlikely 'startling' realisation and an even more unlikely response to it and - voila - happy ending. See The Wedding Banquet for a similar story with a much bigger payoff and some actual emotional involvement. This curry? Not so hot.

Four word review: Run for your Life
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0449000/

Book Review: Gay Self-Help Books

Please note: this was originally written for the bookstore that I work at, about two years ago.

Way Gay

For some it may still be the love that dare not speak its name but for a lot of writers it is now a topic blissfully devoid of shame. From subtle subtext in times less permissive to more explicit and let’s be frank - even hardcore – musings, there is a wealth of gay and lesbian books to be found in the appropriately titled ‘Gay and Lesbian’ section in our basement.

While browsing, the more easily shocked might wish to avert their eyes from the Meat Rack - the part of the section holding the sex magazines. Others might even quite enjoy taking a closer look.

Apart from many novels by famous writers such as Armistead Maupin, David Leavitt and Edmund White, there are plenty of tomes to help you become (or stay) a well-adjusted gay man or woman. Others can help you find that special someone and give advice on how to keep your relationship and sex-life at a highpoint. The following examples have been fairly randomly selected by me - a gay guy - and therefore focus on men, for which I apologize somewhat.

Gaydar is a semi-serious book that will supposedly help anyone identify a homosexual ‘in the wild’. It is potentially useful when having a crush on a guy of unknown leanings, for both gay men and straight women. The writer plays around with stereotypes while keeping it clear that they are – in fact – just that. Don’t expect great veracity or depth, but it is rather handsomely illustrated and designed, making it a great coffee-table book or gift.

Also on the lightweight-but-fun side is Sex Tips for Gay Guys. In a slightly sarcastic style, it covers mostly the art of pick-ups and the art of getting laid, but it is more amusing than useful. There is also a large section on – once again – gay stereotypes and what to expect when dealing with any of these subspecies. Since a lot of these types are specifically American, they will be of relatively little use in Europe. If it is more than lust you’re after, Boyfriend 101 will be your cup of strong manly tea. Although the tone is a bit preachy and affirmative – “yes we are all beautiful in our own way and deserve love and you too can find…”, etc. – there are actually useful pointers in here that might help get you in the right frame of mind for finding someone and playing for keeps, such as: don’t sleep with a guy until after the third date. Simple, but – so I’ve heard – effective. It also presents a time-schedule with the troubles you might find yourself dealing with during each phase of a relationship.

More wry is Finding True Love in a Man-Eat-Man World. It goes into great detail about the importance of communication in a relationship – on how to have a ‘good’ fight, for example - and deals head-on with the fact that – apparently - after a certain amount of years virtually 0% of gay relationships are actually monogamous. It explains that this does not have to diminish the relationship in any way and suggests what arrangements can be made to best accommodate the polygamous among us. (Hands up anyone who really, really isn’t.)

Whether you want to keep your sex-life sparkling after years of being together or are trying to impress a new lover, Going Down might be just what you need. It has its tongue firmly in its cheek, but only style-wise. For this is a book all about blow jobs. Interesting techniques and an anatomy lesson are padded with lots of titillating anecdotes and statistics. But be careful whom you give this to – they might take it as criticism. Better to leave it ‘carelessly’ lying around for your man to find.

And so we come to The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Men. Not exactly a coffee-table book, unless you really want to make your guests blush. It does have some interesting things to say. For instance: the author claims that less gay men do this sort of thing than one might think, while a surprising amount of straights do. And did you know that some Chinese men enjoy the occasional relaxing prostate massage from their wives? Though it delves into its subject matter more deeply than most people will feel comfortable with, it is indispensable reading for aficionados.

So come pick up any of these titles, find a nice beach or terrace to read on and don’t let your attention be distracted by that cute guy who just came walking by. Unless you plan to ask him to help you practice.

Gaydar - Donald F. Reuter
Sex Tips for Gay Guys – Dan Anderson
Boyfriend 101 – Jim Sullivan
Finding True Love in a Man-Eat-Man World – Craig Nelson
Going Down: Instinct Guide to Oral Sex - Ben Rogers and Joel Perry
The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Men – Bill Brent