Movie Review: Friends & Family

Rarely do I find gay-themed movies in second-hand dvd stores. I think we people of the pink treasure our gay flicks even if they are flawed and we don't really feel the need to see them again. Ever. So I should have been forewarned when I found Friends & Family for the price of less than a cup of coffee. It is a deeply weird movie in that some parts that work pretty well are joined with a few parts that don't work in any way, shape or form. As the good parts aren't good enough to make up for the seriously bad ones, the whole production ends up going under.
Stephen and Danny are heavies for an Italian mob boss and are a gay couple. Their parents know about the latter and are dandy with it, but are oblivious about the former. Therefore, when all four of the parents come into town, many shenanigans ensue to cover up the shady profession. Though, because the couple is supposed to be our main interest and therefore sympathetic, we aren't really shown them doing anything all that shady. But everybody is deeply afraid of them because they have a reputation and as heavies for a mob boss I doubt it would be based on how they press wild flowers. They must have done some really bad and violent things in service for the mob - and these are the good guys...
What we also don't get to see is any physical activity going on between them. Because that would be - you know - gross, to the general audience that this movie seems to be aiming for. At the grand finale, the couple realises they took this job as tough, bad-ass mobsters to overcompensate for being gay. But it's not just the couple suffering from internalised homophobia; this whole movie has one foot in the closet. To kick up the gay-level in a sexless way, two flamers are presented as the best friends of our leads. How this group met and bonded is a scenario I can't quite fathom, but at least they are more interesting than the GQ duo. The 'leads' also have their thunder stolen by most of the slightly caricatured cast and their subplots. In the end, it feels like the headliners were the supporting cast in their own movie.
On the plus side, the production values are good, some jokes land and the actors - for the most part - manage to win you over. But then there is that one subplot that torpedoes the movie, sinks it, dives down for the remaining pieces and stomps on them.
One of the two pairs of parents are anti-government survivalists and plan to overthrow the people in charge now that they are visiting the big city by... well I didn't quite grasp the grander scheme, assuming there was one, but it ends in a hostage situation. The survivalist scenes leading up to this break tone completely with the rest of the movie and are entirely, cringe-inducingly unfunny. The actors and their characters are way over the top and the footage seems shot by amateurs without a script. They serve to force the movie to come to a climax, but a better solution could easily have been found to bring that about, using the other characters. The movie makes you feel like a good cook and a bad cook came together and only managed to come up with a half-way edible soufflé. It looks pretty, but falls flat.

Movie Review: But I'm a Cheerleader

This movie sets up a situation with amazing potential for silliness, ramps up and then backs away as if startled by the monster it has created. The story goes thusly: an unsuspecting cheerleader is sent off to a rehab camp after an intervention in which she is told by parents and friends that she is a lesbian. That comes as a bit of a shock to her, as she thought all girls were mesmerised by bouncing breasts.
The boys and gals in the camp are sleeping in reassuringly color coded bedrooms (blue for boys, pink for ladies) and are trained to act in accordance with their gender. It should come as no surprise that the treatment is not only un-effective, but that romances start to develop, most notably between the cheerleader and a surly girl from rich parents who are threatening to disown her. Much theoretical tension ensues from the question whether or not the girls will end up together. No really, take a guess!
There are some nicely bizarre elements to the movie, most notably the colourful set design and outfits. The head of the house makes for a good, despicable villainess, who turns a blind eye to the fact that her own boy is a big flamer. And speaking of those: RuPaul - out of drag, as the trainer for the boys - makes a remarkably manly guy. The kids at the camp are amusing stereotypes that - apart from the romantic leads - struggle to be more than one-dimensional. For a movie with so many underdeveloped characters that could have used more scenes, it oddly struggles to fill its running time. It is also strange that the villains of the piece are not really dealt with at the end. There are a couple of scenes you expect are coming up by way of pay-off, but the movie can't be bothered, only interested by then in getting the main couple together. A bit more depth and sharper dialogue could have made this a movie worth re-watching. As it stands, once will be enough.

Movie Review: Head On

Over the last decade, there have been less depressing gay movies. Well, there are plenty that depress because they are bad, but not many that have the guts to be negative about the gay experience. In the olden days, as exposed in the great documentary The Celluloid Closet, gay people in movies were pathetic, ridiculous and asexual or evil. Since then they generally have been accepting of themselves, though often victimised by their surroundings. If they were in mainstream movies though, they often still got killed.
Ari is something else in Head On. He is a Greek guy in Australia who struggles with his heritage, in combination with his sexuality. He hates his orthodox father, partly because he is at an age when a lot of men do and also because he knows his father would disown him if he ever found out his son was gay. He is caught in a typically Greek close-knit family that is anything but homo-friendly and knows he will lose everything if he comes out. He has one flamboyantly gay nephew that is spat upon by the rest of the family - including his own father - that is his link with his gay side.
Now if you are expecting a cheerful morality tale with a happy ending you will be disappointed. Ari does not handle his internal conflict well: he goes on a self-destructive bender. He is rude to people who reach out to help him, does too many drugs and has unsafe sex with strangers. We follow him a whole night and by the end of it, there is a certain feeling of resolution, though there isn't the sense that he is beyond hope. It's a moody, dark and depressing ride, but it feels raw and real, which is a nice change from the upbeat fluff that a lot of gay-themed movies offer.
On a shallow note: Alex Dimitriades looks as hot in shadows and neon as he does in daylight and carries the movie easily, making us root for Ari even as he is being an asshole. That he appears full frontal is simply a bonus.

Movie Review: The Mostly Unfabulous Social Life of Nathan Green

Note to all involved: guys + dresses + big colourful hats does not necessarily equal funny. There has to be flair and funny dialogue involved. The two 'drag queens' in question are Ethan Green's adoptive fathers, for all practical purposes. Ethan - our everyman, fallible hero - is desperately looking for love and then runs away screaming when he is at risk of finding it. He is still friends with an ex he dumped or was dumped by (the movie is not completely clear on this). Ethan still has feelings for him, which start to stir as his ex becomes involved with an obnoxious right-winger. In the meantime Ethan gets involved with a beefcake sportsman and a teenage skank. Will he find love? Well, take a wild guess.
This movie is a frustrating mix of good and bad. Ethan 's couple of gay 'uncles' stick out like sore thumbs. They are two middle-aged masculine looking men in girly, ill-fitting clothes, which the writer seem to think is funny in and of itself. Another bad call was casting Dean Shelton as a kid that everyone in the movie seems to think is really hot. Not that he is bad-looking but he really does not live up to the billing of hottest-guy-in-the-movie. He doesn't even make the top three. (The same thing bugged me all throughout both Queer As Folk versions with the Brian Kinney character.)
The 'selling real estate' angle that supports most of the plot is not exactly the height of suspense the writers intended it to be. In general, the somewhat surreal and slapsticky brand of comedy used here, distances the viewer from the movie, even though some of the jokes work. It seems to expect us to empathise with Ethan, but comedically pulls the rug out from under us too often for that to really happen. What also bugged me - pun sadly intended - was a sex scene shot for laughs, where it seemed barebacking must be going on, though the 'snap' of a condom off-screen would only have added to the humour. Easiest entry in the history of anal sex by the way (even beating the one in Brokeback Mountain).
Meredith Baxter (the mom from Family Ties) is funny as one of those 'too cool to be real' moms only seen in gay movies. She organises gay and lesbian 'weddings' and is of course drafted to organise the one for Ethan's ex. She does the best with what she is given, but it seems more could have been made of her. And then there is Ethan himself: actor Daniel Letterle. Cute as a button and he is perfectly naturally gay. By which I mean, he does not overdo it for comedic effect or play it straight to disprove a stereotype. He seems at ease as Ethan and it is surprising that, according to the IMDB, he has apparently dropped off the face of the earth since he made this movie. He is very easy on the eyes and has charm to spare. I would love to see him as a regular gay character on a mainstream series. Diego Serrano as the jock also makes an impact, and looks very, very good without a shirt. In general there is a sense of everyone having a fun time and the goodwill that creates, makes up for some of the jokes falling embarrassingly flat.
This movie is symptomatic of most gay comedies: uneven, some hints of amateurism but well-intentioned and entertaining enough for an evening's cuddle on the couch with your lover. But don't expect it to be the last thing you talk about on your deathbed.

Movie Review: Mambo Italiano

Though this is billed as a gay romantic comedy, it is ultimately more about family than anything else. The Story: Italian guy loves Italian guy, the families find out and shit proceeds to hit the fan. It hooked me at the start, with the silly humor, the big, colorful set pieces and the big, colorful characters, but it lost me towards the end when the narrative went off the rails. The movie starts out by making us emotionally invest (though not nearly enough) in a relationship that hits the rocks. A second love interest comes into view, but he never seems more than filler to be discarded when the first big love will return.
Some may call the unexpected ending a neat twist, others might note that the movie skews our interest the wrong way. Even worse: ultimately there isn't all that much interest to begin with, as the movie splits our attention with two love-interests for our hero, but doesn't flesh either of them out enough to make us really care. It spends the most time making us care about the stereotypical-but-admittedly-funny family drama. The movie ends suddenly at 80 minutes without any kind of big emotional payoff. As with most gay comedies intended for a wider audience, it shies away from more than a quick kiss on the lips and a hug from the romantic leads. No wild, passionate fires burning here.

Four word review: Funny, short and misguided
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0330602/

Movie Review: Chicken Tikka Masala

I would love there to be more gay romantic comedies, specifically more good gay romantic comedies. Chicken Tikka Masala looked promising, going by the box. The story: an arranged marriage threatens to get in the way of the relationship between an Indian guy and his English-lad boyfriend. Me and my half-Indian boyfriend appeared to be as much the intended audience as anyone. We settled down cosily on the couch on valentine's day and the next 90 minutes seemed to last an infinity. Never did two men have só little chemistry together and they never have more than a brotherly hug on screen. The movie seems to be in the closet about its own subject matter; at some point the word 'gay' is almost used, but then the writer backs off from such a scary concept.
The clumsiness and technical incompetence is all-round: way too many close-ups, bad framing, bad lighting, perfunctory dialogue, bad music and bad editing, with some crucial scenes missing. I really, really tried to like it for the first 20 minutes or so, after that I just kept checking in with the clock to see how close we were to the promised total running time. The ending concerns an unlikely 'startling' realisation and an even more unlikely response to it and - voila - happy ending. See The Wedding Banquet for a similar story with a much bigger payoff and some actual emotional involvement. This curry? Not so hot.

Four word review: Run for your Life
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0449000/